


Text Like You Fuckin' Mean It

by iwritesinsandtragedies



Series: Text Like 'verse [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Destiel - Freeform, Gay, Group chat, IT IS NOT MOCKED, Love, M/M, SMALL MENTION OF, Small, bullimia, but here, like super gay, tbh im not funny, text
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-22
Updated: 2016-07-06
Packaged: 2018-03-02 22:02:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 5,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2827610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwritesinsandtragedies/pseuds/iwritesinsandtragedies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gabe: and then puberty gave me a huge penis and a sweet smile so I'm good</p><p>Sam: its true</p><p>Dean: Sam no</p><p>Gabe: Sam yes bby keep going</p><p>Dean, Sam, Gabe and Cas all have group chats, private texts, emails, etc. </p><p>Sometimes neglected characters of the show--and by that I mean dead characters--appear here and there. Mayhem ensues. </p><p>"Welcome to a group chat, where the plot is made up and the spelling doesn't matter!"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Go Suck A Dick You Stupid Cock

**Author's Note:**

  * For [superultra](https://archiveofourown.org/users/superultra/gifts).



> GROUP CHAAATTTSSS! Yay. This is basically crack.
> 
> Based on: group chats by superultra (http://archiveofourown.org/series/124836) 
> 
> Its Five Seconds of Summer, but even if you don't listen to them, go read it. I've never heard any of their songs but I loved every second of that series.
> 
> I'm not funny, sorry.

DEAN HAS ENTERED THE CHAT.

Dean: is this what we've come to

Sam: what

Dean: texting instead of talking face to damn face

Sam: dude fuck off

Dean: k

Sam: I was kidding asshole

Gabe: you two are both cute

Gabe: I typed shit and it corrected to cute what the fuck

Sam: u don't think Im cute tho

Gabe: bae I never said that

Gabe: where did ur bro go

Sam: I was kidding dean come back

Dean: hang on I'm driving

Sam: so

Dean: I shoul

Sam: what

Sam: finish the text

Sam: DEAN////???? SHIT SHIT SHIT

Dean: see bitch u got scared

Dean: I'm upstairs u moron

Dean: why r u coming up the steps

Dean: it was a joke

Dean: lmao gabe he's crying

Gabe: pussy

CAS HAS JOINED THE CHAT.

Dean: why did it say I entered the chat but cas joined

Sam: I think they just change it sometimes

Gabe: well i think we know who tops now

Dean: wtf dude

Cas: Gabe you know nothing

Dean: wat did y fuckin telll him??/

Gabe: tell me what

Sam: yeah tell him what

Cas: DAMN IT

Dean: Sam go back downstairs

Sam: I'm literally right be fucking side you just talk to me

Dean: he hit me

Gabe: Sam stop

Cas: I want to puke

Dean: why would anyone fucking want to puke

Gabe: I had an bulimic gf and she puked so much her tastebuds burned off from the acid in her stomach. She coyldnt taste much. Fucking awful. Please don't do that cas

Cas: now I feel bad.

Gabe: its okay just please don't

Dean: I want to say something douchey but I won't

Dean: although I do have one question??

Gabe: what

Dean: thought u were gay

Gabe: hello

Gabe: highschool was a bad time for me

Gabe: and then puberty gave me a huge penis and a sweet smile so I'm good

Sam: its true 

Dean: Sam no

Gabe: Sam yes bby keep going

Sam: and he does thing with his tongue

Dean: brb I have to go hang myself

Gabe: what do I do with my tongue

Sam: I just wanted to get onto him

Gabe: want me to do something ny tongue cuz I will bby

Sam: call me later.

Gabe: r u serious

Sam: no I'm remus

Gabe: that was lame but very adorable

Gabe: and ur totally remus

Sam: :)

Cas: u guys are gross and odd

Cas: Sam isn't remus

Cas: Sam is Hermione

Gabe: pretty sure he just called u a lil bitch

Cas: Hermione was a very strong independent girl

Sam: ill take Hermione over harry harry was a douche to people I mean I get it u never met ur parents but bruh Ron and hermione were trying to help

Gabe: oh god what did I do

Cas: right?? He was mean but whatever it worked. 

Cas: k so I'm ravenclaw, dean is Gryffindor, Gabe ur Hufflepuff and Sam ur...ravenclaw

Sam: works for me

Dean: I'm back yay me

Gabe: answer the question

Sam: yeah 

Dean: really 

Cas: omfg. Yes. We're screwing. Jesus

Gabe: HA

Sam: CALLED IT

Dean: this is why we can't have nice things cas


	2. The Beginning Of The Sleepover Phase (And Why Sam Now Lives At Gabriel's)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam: I'm a twink?
> 
> Gabe: *sighs* sort of
> 
> Dean: I'm back what did I miss
> 
> Cas: PLEASE DON'T SCROLL UP

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWO CHAPTERS IN ONE DAY?? Yeah because I just posted this hours ago and I've already got two comments and eight kudos as of 7:24 PM Eastern Time. 
> 
> Thanks a bunch!! :)

DEAN HAS JOINED THE CHAT.

CAS HAS JOINED THE CHAT. 

SAM HAS ENTERED THE CHAT. 

Gabe: has thrown his phone acROISS T HE FUCGIBG ROO M BC I HATEE U SLL

Cas: what now

Gabe: don't you what now me, malfoy

Gabe: that was supposed to say mister

Dean: I know what u do in ur free time

Gabe: rp is fun so stfu

Sam: its not bad

Dean: stop agreeing on everything he does

Cas: I don't think you said that correctly 

Dean: your write I didnt

Cas: DEAN

Dean: yah wat is rong cass 

Cas: ...there's only one s in cas

Gabe: that's what bothers you about that sentence 

Sam: I'm about to bring u a dictionary dean so if u pulling it stop bc I'm halfway up the stairs rn 

Dean: the fuck does pulling it mean

Dean: and why would I 'pull it' when I'm talking to all u sick ducks

Dean: fucks**

Sam: give into your kinks and open the door

Gabe: I went to get a snack what did I miss

Dean: did you teach Sam the phrase 'pulling it'

Sam: DEQN WHAT WYH WHY WYLD U DO THUS

Gabe: what the hell does pullin it mean

Gabe: ooooooOOOOOhhhhh nevermind I get it

Cas: I'm leaving the group 

Gabe: hahahahahahahaha can't do that can u

Dean: bae dont go 

Gabe: what does bae even mean like why do we just come up with new phrases I mean what the shit like who sat there and said 'laugh out loud' that doesbt even make fucking sense iy would be 'im laughing out loud' there are so many things wrong with this generation look at us were texting even though we're next door neighbors like who does that bc its strange 

Dean: u want some mydol with that whine sweety

Gabe: fuck u I'm serious

Gabe: Sam dont

Sam: and I'm remus

Gabe: it was funny the first time but now its too much pls stop 

Cas: oh my god shut the hell up you dickbags. Jesus Christ my phone is almost DEAD bc of you all. 

Dean: cas go fuck yourself 

Cas: well someone's gotta do it since you won't and I'll prob have a better time alone anyway

Gabe: OOOOOooooooOOOOooHHHHHHhhhhHhhhHHH

Sam: DAAYYUUUMMM SON 

Cas: haha

Cas: I regret hitting send

Gabe: dean u just got your ass cut, smacked and fedexed to yourself in a lil brown package

Sam: FedEx packages are white hun

Cas: dean?

Gabe: uh I think he left cassie boy 

BAL HAS JOINED THE CHAT. 

Gabe: WHI THE HEELL INVITED YOIU???!!?!

Bal: Dean did just now, actually

Cas: is he mad at me

Bal: btw cas he is pissed at you for something

Bal: lol well that answered your question 

Gabe: plz don't say lol 

Bal: lol why not 

Gabe: BAL

Sam: not trying to be a dick but who the fuck are u bro

Bal: Gabe u never told your twink about the adopted brother you don't like

Gabe: a), he isn't a twink b), I do like u, I simply choose to ignore your existence for reasons I haven't really discovered yet

Sam: I'm a twink?

Gabe: *sigh* kind of

Cas: why is he mad

Bal: lol idek I was kidding did u do something to make him mad bc he seemed fine when we spoke

Cas: I might have

Dean: I'm back what did I miss

Cas: PLEASE DON'T SCROLL UP 

Dean: hey Bal. Oh and I'm scrolling up 

Cas: ...I'm sorry

Dean: cas.

Dean: cas I scrolled up

Bal: oh fuck will someone tell me what happened between these two fags

Gabe: ur gay

Bal: yea but...whatever. hey u know we like all turned out gay even cas

Gabe: yea

Cas: the fuck is that supposed to mean Bal

Bal: its supposed to mean you've made some odd life choices

Gabe: that isn't what it means

Dean: cas come over 

Cas: ok

Gabe: oh shit

Sam: he's at the door gabe

Sam: i let him in

Gabe: what now

Sam: they're yelling

Sam: dean said u know why I won't fuck u

Sam: ew 

Sam: cas said it was a joke dean jeez

Gabe: I can feel the tention 

Sam: imagine my pain

Sam: OH SHIT DEAN JUWT GO T DON ON ONE KNEE FUGKIGN OMFG

Gabe: WHAT

Bal: #crying

Sam: :( its just a promise ring.

Gabe: what really

Sam: NO HE FUCKING DID IT GOD DAMN YES DEAN YOU GREW A PAIR

Bal: I can't wait to see what the wedding will be lik

Gabe: OPEN UP YIUR FUCIING DOIR GODDAMN IT

Sam: oKKKKK

Bal: what's happening now

Sam: CAS IS GETTING ON HIS KNEES, TOO. THRY DON'T KNOW WERE WATCHUNG THEM I THINK CAS ALSO HAS A RINNNG

Sam: OH MY GOD

Bal: WHAT

Sam: CAS WASN'T PROPOSING HE DIDN'T HAVE A RING OH DEAR GOD I NEED BRAIN BLEACH OH MY GOD

Gabe: WHAT THRBD FFUCKC???

Bal: WHAT happeneedddd

Sam: TWO GAY GUYS IN A ROOM ONE GETS DOWN ON HIS KNEES WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK HAPPENED 

Bal: oh shit go cas

Gabe: no not go cas I just saw my little brother shove a dick down his throat I am not happy

Sam: jfc

Dean: hey guess what

Sam: GET THE FUCK OUT I JUST WATCHED CAS SHOVE YOURJFIDOFNFKDKMSNSHSjdoszbccjx?alms

Gabe: dean

Dean: yes gabe

Gabe: sams coming to stay with me for a while. You can fucking keep cas. Im sure you understand as I assume u scrolled up.

Dean: ...

Cas: oh my god


	3. Lollipops And Dildos (Wait, What?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas: is this an open chat 
> 
> Dean: yea but even if they join they can't see our history bae
> 
> Cas: I bought u a Christmas gift
> 
> Dean: ok?? I bought you one too moron 
> 
> Cas: yeah but like mine isn't a sweater or a keychain or a bracelet or a blowjob
> 
> Dean: yeah cause those are all on the same list of objects you give as Christmas gifts
> 
> Cas: I bought you a vibrator
> 
> Dean: oops

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Technically its tomorrow where I'm at and that counts, so whatever, its 2AM and I can't sleep. Chapter time! 
> 
> Thanks again superultra for the idea, even if you don't know who I am.
> 
> Also I know this chapter is extra short, sorry. Also sorry for the serious chapter I threw at you XD

DEAN HAS JOINED THE CHAT. 

Cas: hey babe

Dean: what do u want bich

Cas: stop watching jacksfilms its not that funny

Dean: don't hate me cuz I'm beautiful

Cas: I'm trying to tell you something important

Dean: are you pregnant bc I dont know how to explain that to people

Cas: dean

Cas: dean listen to me

Dean: alright, Jesus

Cas: I love you and can't wait to marry u, k?

Dean: aw bae. Luv u too

Cas: I know. Listen. I thought it would be nice to have the wedding at my moms

Cas: she's not mad at u anymore and she knows were getting married. She's happy for us

Cas: dean please

Dean: ...alright. I mean if shes not mad at me and shes happy for us then we can 

Dean: what about the honeymoon

Cas: we havebt even picked out flowers yet Dean

Cas: but I thought England would be nice

Dean: ok but you're paying 

Cas: well NO SHIT 

Dean: too far sorry I'm not rich 

Cas: dean that's not what I meant

Dean: I know -_-

Cas: the fuck is that

Dean: I'm annoyed

Cas: ...is this an open chat 

Dean: yea but even if they join they can't see our history bae

Cas: I bought u a Christmas gift

Dean: ok?? I bought you one too moron 

Cas: yeah but like mine isn't a sweater or a keychain or a bracelet or a blowjob

Dean: yeah cause those are all on the same list of objects you give as Christmas gifts

Cas: I bought you a vibrator

Dean: oops

Cas: what do you mean oops

Dean: great minds think alike I suppose

Cas: oh my god we have two now

Dean: alright look they were in sale and I had just gotten paid

Dean: dont look in the bottom of my closet please

Dean: you're looking aren't you

GABE HAS JOINED THE CHAT. 

Dean: cas NO DONT

Cas: THAT IS A SHIT TON OF DILDOS

Cas: WE DON'T NEED THQT MANY FUGKING DILDOS DEAN JFC

Gabe: oh ny god whrere dud u get so many dildos

Dean: did you just 

Dean: did u send him a picture via PRIVATE TEXT 

Cas: there's an option for it I didn't know that but yes I did 

Dean: I got them from amazon

Gabe: who orders sex toys from amazon 

Dean: me 

Cas: lmao I'm not putting the colorful ones up my ass

Dean: there's like seven flesh ones were good

Cas: you counted

Dean: I'M NOT SHOVING PINK PLASTIC UP MY ASS OR YOURS SO YES I COUNTED

Gabe: can we change the topic thanks

Dean: you joined

Gabe: remember that private text option?? USE IT FUCKHEADS 

Dean: no 

Cas: no

SAM HAS JOINED THE CHAT. 

Sam: dean youre gross 

Dean: did you show him the picture

Gabe: yeah

Cas: maybe

Dean: YOU BOTH SHOWED HIM

Cas: I TOOK MIRE THAN ONE PHOTO 

Dean: why why why 

Gabe: you bought them bro

Dean: yea as a PRIVATE THING FOR ME AND CAS

Dean: ok that pun was not intended but I'm claiming it 

Gabe: you guys suck

Cas: hey dean where even are you

Dean: in the attic

Cas: why

Dean: I dunno. Hang on ill be right down

Sam: this is booorrring. 

Dean: so go do something else we never fuckin told u to join

Sam: WELL EXCUUUuuuuUuuUuuUUUsSsSSSssse ME. 

Gabe: too much

Cas: anybody want like thirty colorful dildos

Gabe: ...

Sam: yes

Dean: I'm leaving this

Cas: yeah I'm ending it oh my god

Sam: can we still have them

Gabe: I never said I wanted them

Sam: you told me to say yes asshole

Dean: ugh


	4. Hogwarts It Is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean: being a douche even to wizards
> 
> Sam: and witches
> 
> Dean: don't start with me Sam
> 
> Cas: shut up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to the awesomely wonderful Cate. You know who you are. (I'm sorry I don't know your account name) 
> 
> There will not be any updates tomorrow or the next day, obviously, because its fucking Christmas. (ALREADY??) 
> 
> Enjoy!

DEAN HAS ENTERED THE CHAT. 

Sam: but I told him no.

Cas: I figured 

Dean: hey lamps

Dean: losers*

Cas: hey bae<3

Sam: please no

Dean: everything is aweeessooommmeee

Cas: did you watch it again

Dean: I might have

Sam: you feel any better

Dean: eh. I'm not puking my guts out anymore so thats a good sign

Cas: I'm sorry I'm not there. But Kevin insisted I cone look at flowers and cake toppers with him. What time did you wake up babe?

Dean: few hours ago. And Kevin told me over the pho e earlier its fine

Cas: ok :)

Sam: you two are so cute its disgusting

Dean: lol fuck off

Cas: oh dean did they cast Jared Leto as the joker or not Kevin wants to know

Dean: I think so 

Cas: and who is playing Harley Quinn

Sam: Margot Robbie 

Cas: ok thank u

Dean: nerd. 

Sam: I'm Hermione remember. Its my job to be a nerd

Dean: well screw u Hermione 

Dean: you married a ginger

Sam: Charlie is a ginger

Dean: Charlie dyes her hair Sam

Sam: what crawled up your ass

Dean: nothing

Dean: being a douche even to wizards

Sam: and witches 

Dean: don't start with me Sam

Cas: shut up 

GABE HAS JOINED THE CHAT. 

Gabe: Well hello motherfuckas. 

Cas: ggabbbeeee heeeyyyy

Dean: why 

Sam: gabe have you seen Abby I can't find her

Gabe: no 

Cas: you lost my cat

Dean: you have a cat??!?!

Cas: ...yes

Sam: awkward 

Gabe: dean u fucking helped me pick it out 

Dean: you guys kept that thing

Cas: YES

Dean: oh haha

Gabe: that's not funny 

Sam: u know what is tho

Gabe: dean buying 37 colorful dildos?

Dean: FUCK YOU 

Gabe: no thanks. And btw they're a lil soft 

Dean: OH GOD WHY

Cas: GABRIEL

Gabe: CAS I WATCHED YOU SHOVE DEANS DICK DOWN YOUR THROAT STFU

Sam: oh no don't bring that up

Dean: THIS IS GETTYING OUGT OD HANDF

Cas: can we change THE FUCKOGN TIPIC PLWASE K 

Sam: I'm scarred for life jfc

Dean: did u guys know we're getting married tho

Sam: ...

Gabe: ...

Cas: dean

Dean: yea cas? <3

Cas: shut the fuck up and go to sleep please 

Dean: rude

DEAN HAS LEFT THE CHAT. 

Gabe: HIW THE HELL DO YOU LEAVE

Sam: I didnt know u could do that

Cas: he disconected his WiFi 

Gabe: oh 

GABE HAS LEFT THE CHAT.

SAM HAS LEFT THE CHAT. 

Cas: well fuck you too


	5. No Stranger Would It Be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas: I'm just saying he's not funny what if he wants to be a comedian and he saves up money for YEARS because u told him he was funny and one day he goes to a comedian audition place and he says "this is for my brother Dean Jonathan Winchester" and he says a joke and no one laughs and everyone knows its your fault 
> 
> Cas: how would you feel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMFG FIVE CHAPTERS ALREADY??!! Hell yeah! You guys are awesome! 
> 
> This one is also dedicated to Cate, because she is really cool and if you don't know her I feel bad for you. 
> 
> The title is for a reason, cause guess who's been listening to The Hanging Tree all day? Me. Why? Because I can. 
> 
> I know the last chapter wasn't very funny at ALL, so this one is a bit better, I think. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Dean: jesus christ 

Cas: has not joined the chat yet but wait three days he might come around

Gabe: ...really

Sam: ⊙.⊙

Dean: the fuck

Sam: I'm just awesome like that bitch 

Dean: lol 

Sam: why is that funny? I'm...funny. 

Gabe: ok bae yr right yr very funny

Cas: no you aren't

Dean: that's the spirit, cas. Tell it to him like it is 

Cas: I'm just saying he's not funny what if he wants to be a comedian and he saves up money for YEARS because u told him he was funny and one day he goes to a comedian audition place and he says "this is for my brother Dean Jonathan Winchester" and he says a joke and no one laughs and everyone knows its your fault 

Cas: how would you feel

Dean: Thats pretty unlikely 

Gabe: a comedian audition place

Sam: that will never happen cas ijs

Cas: yes but what if it did Sam. What if it did 

Gabe: gay 

Cas: really

Sam: yes you're really gay cas that thing between dean's legs is a dick 

Dean: why you gotta do that 

Gabe: I JUSYC FUGIBG SPUT OUT MIY DRIONK

Sam: did you also forget how to spell 

Gabe: fo fuck yourself

Sam: Sure ill just use one of these MILLIONS IF DILDOS 

Dean: STOP 

Dean: can't believe cas gave you those 

Cas: why do you know me

Sam: yea he does...from the inside out XD 

Cas: that would be funny if it were true 

Dean: CAS

Sam: DEAN YOU BOTTOM?? 

Dean: GOD DAMN IT CAS 

Cas: I WAS JUST SAYING 

Gabe: THIS IS THE BEST THING WE'VE EVER DONE

Dean: NO ITS NOT I HATE THESE GROUP CHATS WE HAVE K TOO MUCH GETS SHARREDB 

Cas: leave then bitch 

Sam: ouch 

Gabe: tssssssssssssss. Hear that? Its the sound if that burn against your skin 

Cas: he left. What a pussy 

Dean: ok did gabe steal your phone cas 

Cas: no I am my own fucking person 

Gabe: OH

Sam: BOOOOOMMMMM. HE SLAMMED YOU 

Dean: wouLD YOU PLEASE STOP 

Dean: cas I swear to god if you try to burn me again 

Cas: like how when we were 'pulling it together' but you had to pee u want to stop like that 

Dean: WHAT YHR FUCK OS WRONG EITH YOU THAY NEVER EVEN HAOPENED 

Cas: yes it did 

DEAN HAS LEFT THE CHAT. 

Gabe: lol you chased him off

Sam: thought you vowed never to say lol 

Gabe: I TYPED WOW I SWEAR 

Sam: you know what you have to do now 

Cas: 'if I ever say lol again please stab me with a straw. Or smack me'

Gabe: oooohhh no

Sam: oh YES

Gabe: he hit me :( 

Cas: did it hurt 

Gabe: so he slaps like a bitch 

Sam: but I'm you're bitch sweetie

Gabe: yea you are ;) 

Cas: please don't do this to me

Gabe: wanna bend over for me Sam? Reallll far?

CAS HAS LEFT THE CHAT. 

Sam: I'm not bending over for you

Gabe: fine then I will

Sam: y r we still textin lmao

Gabe: Idk 

Gabe: wanna go do it 

Sam: if you ask me like a normal ducksbgbdjjdosoosososkamwn

Sam: jdkdbdksooaqq 

Sam: jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its four AM here...and technically i said no updates today but...have a gift. :) Um yeah pretty sure you know what happened with Sam's keyboard at the end there...I'm not explaining if you don't.


	6. Do It Like A Brother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to get serious. Sort of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Thanks for reading. Seriously.

Dean: begonias

Sam: thats gay as all get out 

Gabe: GAY

Cas: its a gay wedding

Cas: what the fuck did you expect

Gabe: not fuckin begonias

Sam: yeah im not really feeling those 

Dean: yeah well its not your wedding, so...

Cas: but we do value your opinions.

Dean: no

Dean: no we dont

Sam: Deans right. its not our wedding gabe

Gabe: is that a hint? are you trying to tell me something?

Sam: is it?

Dean: no dont fucking propose and steal our damn spotlight

Gabe: HES SEVENTEEN

Gabe: IM NOT FUCKING PROPOSING ANYTIME SOON

Dean: so you admit that you're a lil bit of a pedo

Gabe: so you admit that you're a lil bit retarted

Dean: *retarded

Sam: bad time for you to mess up there gabe

Gabe: fuck you

Sam: no im only seventeen

Cas: ouch. you're getting slammed here Gabe

Gabe: youre all ASSHOLES.

Dean: yeah, and

Dean: whats your point

Gabe: I dont really have one actually 

Sam: is this how you show your love

Cas: you made it in your mind because

Dean: you like to blame it on your a.d.d.

Sam: baby?

Cas: is this how an angel cries

Dean: blame it on your own sick pride, Cas

Sam: or your A.D.D.

Dean: maybe you should cry for help

Sam: but dont kill yourself

Cas: I'll just blame it on my ADD

Gabe: WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS DOING THAT.

Sam: SAIL

Dean: SAIL

Cas: LALALALALA LALALALALAOOOHHH

Dean: ditto

Sam: you ruined it

Dean: lol. we have to go

Dean: we're picking out tuxes today :)

Gabe: they all look the same

Dean: they really dont

Cas: i think i'll just wear a waist coat, dean. i quite like those

Dean: Uhm if you do that I'll probably fuck you before we even get to the vows, cas

Cas: ok then

Cas: i'll wear one under my jacket

Cas: but im wearing one

Gabe: gross

Sam: idk i mean when i met cas he had one of those things on and even i thought he looked hot so

Cas: you were fifteen

Sam: fourteen, actually, and im sorry. i made gabe try one on once.

Sam: he didn't keep it on long

Dean: this is creepy

Dean: two brothers dating two brothers

Dean: if we could have kids would they be related

Cas: WE CANT HAVE KIDS? OH MY GOD. WHAT WILL I TELL MOTHER, GABRIEL??

Gabe: MOTHER WILL BE PISSED

Cas: WONT SHE

Sam: this is like one of those weird sibling understanding things isnt it?

Dean: it is, yes

Cas: AND WHAT ABOUT MICHAEL? HE WILL BE DEVASTATED THAT I DIDN'T MARRY AMELIA

Gabe: LUCIFER WILL BE PROUD, WON'T HE?

Sam: WHY WOULD SATAN BE PROUD GABE

Gabe: what? no, my brother lucifer.

Sam: YOU HAVE A BROTHER NAMED LUCIFER

Cas: You've met him

Sam: NO I HAVENT

Gabe: Luke is Lucifer, Sam

Sam: oh my god

Sam: why didnt you tell me

Gabe: because his name is LUCIFER

Gabe: most people dont like that

Cas: we havent discovered why yet, though

Dean: ugh gag me with a spoon

Gabe: did you just

Cas: oh dear jesus

Sam: what

Gabe: No one says that shit anymore. ever.

Dean: do i care? no

Dean: we have to go 

Cas: bye :) 

DEAN HAS LEFT THE CHAT. 

CAS HAS LEFT THE CHAT. 

Gabe: they're so gay its gross

Sam: we're gay

Sam: can't use it as an insult 

Gabe: I didn't 

Sam: whatever. I don't care. I'm going to look at tuxes with them. Ttyl 

SAM LEFT THE GROUP CHAT. 

Gabe: why would he go look at tuxes with them haha 

Gabe: oh

Gabe: Shit.


	7. Bad Moon Rising

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FUCK I AM SO SORRY 
> 
> This would have been posted sooner if the fucking format didn't mess up so much. 
> 
> Sorry, this chapter probably isn't that funny, but. I tried. :)

Dean: whoo guess what, hoes?

Gabe: what

Sam: ?

Dean: I JUST FUCKIN BLEW MY HUSBAND WHHHOOOOOOOOO

Sam: oh god damn it

Cas: its true, he did

Gabe: thanks Cas. Always nice to hear about your sexual activities

Cas: no problem,

Dean: really tho I did just give him a blowjob.

Sam: we get it.

Dean: so does Cas, at least once a day

Cas: Dean please stop

Dean: that's not what you said earlier ;)

Cas: please

Dean: now that is what you said earlier ;)

Cas: DEAN

Gabe: I hate you all

Sam: why did we think this was a good idea. And why do we keep doing it. I don't get it.

Cas: don't break the fourth wall

Dean: what?

Cas: what? Nothing.

Dean: what do you mean ??

Gabe: *insert funny one-line innuendo here*

Dean: what are you guys doing

Cas: *insert properly spelled words and good punctuation here*

Sam: *insert witty comeback here*

Dean: what the fucj is going on

Cas: What? Dean, what are you talking about

Gabe: are you high

Sam: stay off my fucking weed I swear to god I paid for that shit myself I WILL FUCDING BREAK YOUU

Dean: you have weed?? And you don't SHARE IT?

Gabe: I feel like this chapter is going in a very odd direction...

Dean: are you reading a book or doing that weird thinf again

Cas: what weird thing

Dean: I am like 500000% done with whatever the FUCJ is going ON HERE CASTIEL

Cas: don't you castiel me I didn't do anything

Dean: this is why I don't like texting, it ruins relationships I swear to god 

Sam: no you're just pissy cause you can't get drunk anymore. You have to be 'responsible' 

Cas: yes you do 

Dean: stfu 

Gabe: I have to say, those didloes (??) you gave us are sorta shitty. Except for the jelly blue ones, those are okay. I hate cleaning them though 

Dean: I DIDN'T FUCJING GO INTO THST MUCH DETAIL OKAY JFC WTF 

Cas: GABRIEL 

Sam: WHY

Dean: tell me you don't put the glass ones in the dishwasher. I use dishes from thst thing 

Gabe: hhahaha well looks pike you're gonna have to bring your own dishes from now on 

Gabe: *like 

Dean: O H M Y G O D 

Cas: I am going to vomit. I'm gonna do it. 

Dean: OH NY FUCJ SHIT SHIT SHUT FUCK YOU GABE 

Gabe: THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE SUOPOSED TO DEO OKAY I JUS FOLLOWED DIRECTION 

Sam: well, on the brightside 

Cas: ...yeah? 

Sam: hhahahaha I dunno you were supposed to finish it

Dean: BYE FUCK YOU ALL 

DEAN HAS LEFT THE GROUP CHAT.

CAS HAS LEFT THE GROUP CHAT.


	8. sex don't sleep when the lights are off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabe: ok SO once upon a time, I was in college. I had a hot boyfriend, (not as sexy as Sam, but) a 3.9 GPA and I had a rich family so you know, debt wasn't in my future. Anyway, a few friends asked me if I wanted to go out for drinks. I was only nineteen, so I said I couldnt. They told me not to worry about it. So, being the naive, stupid, hormonal teen I was, iwent with them. I was happy as fuck. I had good friends and good drinks around me. Of course, I only let myself drink one thing. Mis. Take. 
> 
> Dean: FUCJ YES GO ON

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FIVE MONTHS. I'M SOOOOOO SORRY. I REALLY AM. SERIOUSLY. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Dean: hello assholes 

Cas: I'm not an asshole you prick 

Gabe: you sorta are though 

Cas: ??explain 

Gabe: two words; Christmas party 

Cas: okay but I had REASON for that okay fuck OFF GABE 

Gabe: okAY why are you talking like THIS 

Cas: it adds effect 

Dean: it actually doesn't!! 

Sam: it does though.. 

Gabe: okay. Sure. 

Dean: OH HEY GUYS DID ANYONE SEE SAM'S NEW PROFILE PICTURE LMAO 

Cas: no??? 

Gabe: I'M LOOKIN 

Sam: what's wring with it??

Dean: um 

Cas: SAM WHAT THE FUCK 

Gabe: DDUUUDDDEEEEE 

Sam: what?? Its just Crowley!! I thought he looked so cute with his ears perked up like that 

Gabe: I'm p sure that a pic of a penis isnt your Rottweiler 

Sam: WHAR HOLY SHIT WHQT NI NO NOOOOOOOOO I GOTTA GO OH NO 

SAM HAS LEFT THE CHAT. 

Dean: LMAO HE FELL FOR IT 

Gabe: HE'S FREAKING OUT U HAVE NO IDEA 

Cas: why did I agree to that?? Now I feel bad. 

Dean: its what the little fucker gets for not buying milk I fuckin poured my cereal and guess what we didn't have 

Gabe: I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say milk??

Dean: yeah. Pissed me off 

SAM HAS ENTERED THE CHAT. 

Sam: I fucking hate you Dean 

Dean: BUY MILK NEXT TIME 

Sam: TGATS WHAT THAT WAS OVER 

Sam: WHAT IS EITH U AND MILK WEIRD ASS 

Cas: he has a problem 

Gabe: *chanting* intervention! intervention! 

Dean: no 

Cas: i think it may be time, dean 

Dean: well u know what time I think it may be time for? 

Cas: that didn't make sense 

Dean: fuck u u know what I meant 

Cas: *sigh* go on

Dean: time to kick your qaa 

Dean: god damn it I meant ass*

Cas: you gonna kick my qaa 

Gabe: the fuck is a qaa 

Sam: its the sound Dean makes when he gets his qaa kicked 

Gabe: DYING 

Cas: lol 

Gabe: NO 

Cas: why do you hate that so much??? 

Sam: he never told you? 

Gabe: SAM IF YOU LOVE ME YOU WON'T 

Dean: okay now I have to know 

Gabe: you don't want to know 

Sam: oh I think they do 

Gabe: FUCK 

Gabe: alright hang on this is gonna take a while to type 

Cas: oh no 

Dean: do we still want to know?? 

Sam: you do. 

Cas: I've been wondering about this for a while but I thought maybe he was just strange 

Sam: ;) 

Dean: HURRY UP GABE I NEED TO KNOW 

Gabe: ok SO once upon a time, I was in college. I had a hot boyfriend, (not as sexy as Sam, but) a 3.9 GPA and I had a rich family so you know, debt wasn't in my future. Anyway, a few friends asked me if I wanted to go out for drinks. I was only nineteen, so I said I couldnt. They told me not to worry about it. So, being the naive, stupid, hormonal teen I was, iwent with them. I was happy as fuck. I had good friends and good drinks around me. Of course, I only let myself drink one thing. Mis. Take. 

Dean: FUCJ YES GO ON 

Gabe: okay, so my friends decided to pull a prank and they fuckin put something in my drink. I don't know what it was and honestly, I don't want to. But it was some hard shit. Like, ecstasy times a million. Well I started feeling weird. Like I was watching from inside my head. And I couldn’t control myself. One minute I was at the bar and the next I was outside and then at a tattoo parlor. 

Gabe: I remember hearing the girl ask me what tattoo I wanted. I handed her something and said something and then my pants were down, a needle was on my ass and I was confused as fuck. The drug wore off, I guess. Anyway, I sorta woke up, but I didn't want to move, cause she had a tattoo needle on my ass. 

Gabe: I couldnt even feel it. My head hurt, and my wrist was on fire--it was broken, by the way, and I didn't find out until the next day--and then she told me it was done, wrapped saran wrap on my ass, and I went home sometime after. 

Gabe: i woke up feeling great. My head felt fine, I didn't need to puke, blah blah blah. And then I looked at my wrist and holy fuck it was broken. I freaked the the fuck out and went to the ER. I got a cast, etc, came back home...and then remembered the tattoo. 

Gabe: I pulled my pants down, looked in the mirror, and you know what was staring back at me? 

Gabe: I had LOL tattooed on my ass. 

Dean: NO 

Cas: Oh my god. 

Dean: pics or it didn't happen 

Gabe: (attachment.1.asstattoo.png) 

Dean: YOU'RE NANCY BOTWIN HAHHAHABA 

Gabe: who??

Dean: weeds? You know, the u-turn tattoo on her ass?

Gabe: I've never watched it 

Cas: she's naked at one point 

Gabe: I'm in 

Sam: isnt that the show with the guy who looks like dad? 

Dean: what? 

Cas: juda did look like john oh my god 

Sam: see!! 

Dean: he doesnt. Whatever. Just watch the show, Gabe 

Gabe: k 

Cas: ohhhhhh shit I have to go BYE goodnight 

CAS HAS LEFT THE CHAT. 

DEAN HAS LEFT THE CHAT. 

Sam: where did they go 

Gabe: idk, to sleep? Not sure

Sam: wanna go to walmart 

Gabe: its three am 

Sam: but I want ice cream 

Gabe: k. Hang on. Lemme get my keys. 

Sam: don't forget a jacket 

Gabe: I won't <3

Sam: uh, do you still love dean? 

Sam: I'm sorry that was uncalled for:/

Gabe: yeah. But not like I love you. I will always love him, I think, but I'll always love you more, better. We weren't good together, him and me. But you and I? We're fucking amazing. 

Sam: we are. 

Gabe: now go get some decent clothes on that fine ass of yours 

Sam: ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates will get better now. I just had some stuff goin' on.


	9. They Think This Thing Is A Highway (If It Was Our Way)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so......................yeah. we're nearing the end of this installment. but im not done with the series, im just making another part to it. hell, i might even add in another fandom. idk at this point.
> 
> 'kay. enough of my rant. enjoy.

Dean: ive never been more dissapointed

Cas: disapointed*

Sam: disappointed**

Cas: oh fuck me

Dean: later ;)

Cas: p sure it will be the other way around??? 

Dean: I came out to have a good time and frankly I'm fucking offended 

Sam: you're offended over being the bottom? what a pussy 

Dean: that's...sexist (?)

Sam: ???????who wants to be a vagina that's not sexist it's just how it is 

Cas: actually, 'pussy' comes from the word 'pusillanimous' and it means lacking in courage, cowardly, etc. So. 

Sam: ...oh 

Dean: damn Cas

Sam: God damn it 

Dean: back at it again with the random knowledge on random shit 

Gabe: shut the fuck up 

Dean: gun 

Dean: *no 

Dean: ???? 

Sam: I'm tired as fuck 

Cas: it's only 11:34 

Gabe: at night??? 

Sam: no shit Sherlock. 

Gabe: no, fuck you very much, I have to be at work in a few. Catch you weenies on the flip side 

GABE HAS LEFT THE CHAT. 

Dean: I'm gonna miss not living here anymore :/

Sam: you'll be fine. :)

Cas: we'll b okay. I'll miss it, too 

Dean: I mean. I've lived in Lawrence all my life, kinda. It's hard to imagine not being here. But I like Kentucky. 

Sam: me, too. And you'll have a good job. 

Dean: true. I guess. 

Cas: we'll be okay, dean. 

 

 


	10. Done

We've reached the end. I'm sorry but I'm no longer in the Supernatural fandom. I hope you enjoyed this Trash.


End file.
